


I bloom just for you

by Toomanyfandoms99



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, California, F/F, Kansas, M/M, Stanford Student Sam Winchester, Valentine’s Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-27 20:20:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17773592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toomanyfandoms99/pseuds/Toomanyfandoms99
Summary: Somewhere along the way, Sam knew intuitively that he was closer with Gabriel than he ever was with Kevin.  There was a clear line between Sam and Kevin.  They were just friends, and will only ever be friends.  Sam thinks the line with Gabriel had been crossed without either of them realizing it.  Past friendship.Something more.And that’s when Sam Winchester knew he was an absolute goner, falling in love with his best friend, someone whose friendship he valued too much to make a move on.Until Gabriel made a move on him.





	I bloom just for you

**Author's Note:**

> The title was taken from the song “Bloom” by Troye Sivan. Happy Valentine’s Day! Enjoy!

Sam Winchester met Gabriel Novak on the first day of his sophomore year in college.

Stanford University — along with most other colleges — had a policy wherein students had to get new dorms and roommates every year, also equivalent to two semesters. Sam’s roommate in freshman year was Kevin Tran, and they got along famously. Law majors and foreign language majors made compatible friends.

But in sophomore year, it was time for a dorm room change. With Kevin promising to remain his friend, Sam moved into a new dorm.

Upon exchanging pleasantries with Gabriel Novak, something inside Sam clicked into place.

Sam, like all freshmen, was required to take a course on gender and sexuality. It really opened Sam’s eyes, and finally got him to identify what he felt. He was pansexual. Sam was glad to have a term for it. His parents and older brother always assumed Sam was straight, but he never labeled himself something that seemed so simple. He knew Dean wasn’t straight either. Sam was attracted to personalities. The most interesting ones were usually attached to women.

Until he became acquainted with Gabriel Novak, a sophomore literature major.

The more Sam got to learn about him, become his friend, the more Sam was sure of something.

Gabriel’s personality was positively alluring. 

Sam was drawn to him in the most inexplicable way. He was drawn to Gabriel’s wit, his endearing quirks, his uncanny ability to disarm those around him utilizing a few chosen words.

They became incredible friends in their first semester together. They got along splendidly, and respected each other’s boundaries. They kept their schedules synchronized and knew when they needed silence for studying or some simple privacy. They connected in a way that Sam had never felt with anyone before. They could tell each other anything and not be judged.

Somewhere along the way, Sam knew intuitively that he was closer with Gabriel than he ever was with Kevin. There was a clear line between Sam and Kevin. They were just friends, and will only ever be friends. Sam thinks the line with Gabriel had been crossed without either of them realizing it. Past friendship.

Something more.

And that’s when Sam Winchester knew he was an absolute goner, falling in love with his best friend, someone whose friendship he valued too much to make a move on.

Until Gabriel made a move on him.

There was nothing special about that weekend in February. Other than the fact that Valentine’s Day was the following weekend, and a lot of students were desperately trying to find a romantic partner to spend the holiday with.

Sam already knew that Gabriel didn’t care about that. Neither did he.

That was why Sam was well and truly shocked when it happened.

Kissing Gabriel while watching a terrible movie together on a lagging laptop wasn’t what he expected in the event that this occurrence came true. Sam had fantasized about some of the ways he would kiss Gabriel, or Gabriel would kiss him. None of them were as simple and uneventful as this. But, in a way, that made the whole thing even more devastating to Sam’s life.

Because this was the best and most awkward kiss he’s ever had, and he wanted more as soon as humanly possible.

When Gabriel pulled away from the kiss, his eyes were comically wide — displaying his unique irises, like whiskey, like staring at the sunset through the lens of a beer bottle, like caramel floating in a sea of chocolate — and his skin was flushed the cutest shade of red Sam had ever seen on another person before.

Gabriel exhaled, “please tell me I didn’t read that wrong.”

Sam’s mouth quirked upwards as he shook his head.

No, he didn’t read that wrong.

Sam surged forward with new purpose, their lips connecting with fervor. Sam felt sparks rock his veins, reverberating throughout his entire being.

Good God. This was too good. Too fucking good. Better than it had a right to be.

Sam was suddenly enclosing his fingers around Gabriel’s waist, one hand finding its way into Gabriel’s hair.

Before Sam even knew what he was doing, he was tipping Gabriel onto the mattress of his bed, — and fuck, Gabriel looked good laid out on his bedspread — their lips refusing to part until their lungs caught on fire.

Sam’s hand travelled from Gabriel’s hair to his achingly soft cheek, the pads of his fingers registering an absence of stubble. Sam almost whimpered from the lack of roughness that he craved.

Gabriel’s hands were suddenly trailing up Sam’s sides, causing Sam to shiver involuntarily. Their tongues began a tentative tango, Gabriel’s hands settling on Sam’s shoulder blades.

This was going too far. Too. Far.

As if in answer, Sam felt his lungs pounding for air, fervently demanding oxygen.

Sam slowly eased himself out of the kiss, awareness creeping back in.

He just made out with his best friend.

And he fucking loved it.

Sam looked at the flushed, adorable man beneath him, who was pushing his glasses higher on his nose, his eyes sparkling. They panted perfectly in time with one another, their heartbeats creating a matching rhythm. A moment passed, silent save for their heavy breaths.

Gabriel managed, in a tone rough enough to make a thrill travel through Sam’s system, “you went a little too far there.” He licked his lips. “But I liked it.”

Sam felt his body heat up, and he shifted off of Gabriel before he could think about other things they could do horizontally. Gabriel sat up again, both of them chuckling out of sheer disbelief and happiness.

Gabriel made a fucking move. Goddamn.

Sam could get used to seeing how Gabriel looked right now every damn day. 

“So,” Sam cleared his throat, “are we on the same page?”

Gabriel’s grin was ear-splitting. “I have a hot boyfriend. Whoa.”

Sam chuckled, taking the compliment with a grain of salt. “You’re pretty adorable too, you know.”

“Puppies and kittens are adorable. Baby turtles are adorable.” Gabriel pushed up his glasses on his nose again. “People aren’t adorable.”

“Babies are adorable,” Sam countered, smiling at their usual bickering pattern. “Therefore, adults can remain adorable.”

Gabriel studied Sam’s expression. His eyes narrowed. “I feel like there’s a fat joke in there, somewhere.”

Sam shook his head. “Your chubbiness is adorable.”

“Chubbiness is just a stage below fatness.”

“But you go to the gym, so it won’t come to that.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Guess I’ll have to stick around and find out.”

Gabriel’s laugh was pure, melodic, and absolutely fucking...adorable. “That was smooth, babe.”

Sam’s eyebrow shot upwards. Gabriel’s Freudian slip made him realize that Gabriel had thought about a relationship beyond friendship too. For quite a while. Not to mention how easily it was spoken, like the term was meant to be there, as if Gabriel had said it a million times before today.

Sam chose not to comment, deciding that he liked the way Gabriel said “babe.”

Sam realized that the movie on his laptop was playing, and neither of them were truly paying attention to it, anyway. He closed the laptop absentmindedly and put it on the nightstand to give him and Gabriel more room.

Sam said, “all of our rules remain the same. We’re abundantly clear when one of us is uncomfortable with something. Deal?”

Gabriel teased, “I get hot and bothered when you go all lawyer on me. Deal.”

————

It was a ritual to barricade one of the television rooms in the dormitory to watch Saturday Night Live.

Sam and Gabriel, as well as their respective friend groups, did this in order to catch up on the week’s events with one another.

Their friend group included Gabriel’s younger brother, Castiel, a freshman majoring in religious studies. Sam got along incredibly well with Castiel — going by the nickname Cassie or Cas. He also got along with Cas’s best friend, Charlie, who was a communication major, and Charlie’s girlfriend Dorothy, a literature major like Gabriel. With Kevin added into the mix, Sam and Gabriel’s joint friends were a hilarious bunch.

But Sam and Gabriel didn’t even have to tell their friends they were together. They figured it out by themselves.

During a commercial break, everyone settled around the giant couches, an army of blankets and popcorn around them. Charlie and Dorothy shared a giant red afghan, holding hands underneath the material as usual. Cas was on Charlie’s opposite side, his giant glasses perched precariously on his nose and his body scrunched up into a comfortable ball. Next to Cas was Kevin, swaddled in a blue blanket twice his size. Then, Gabriel and Sam rounded out the group.

The key difference about this particular get-together was this: Gabriel and Sam usually had separate blankets, but Gabriel forgot his. 

Taking pity on Gabriel, and not really thinking it through, Sam tossed half of his plaid blanket into Gabriel’s lap. Gabriel scooted closer to Sam, their individual body heat reflecting off of one another’s skin. 

The move seemed so normal and right to Sam that it took him a moment to realize it.

Kevin, Castiel, Charlie, and Dorothy stared at the couple with agape mouths and wide eyes.

Sam blushed out of instinct, checking Gabriel’s reaction.

Nonplussed outwardly, Gabriel asked, “what?”

Sam thought it safe to slide his hand underneath the blanket, finding Gabriel’s and taking it tentatively. Gabriel squeezed back, his expression giving no indication of what was occurring.

Charlie motioned between the two of them with a shit-eating grin, silently asking for confirmation.

Gabriel and Sam shared a look.

Sam said, “yeah, and?”

Kevin clapped Sam’s shoulder. “Good for you, bro.”

Castiel laughed. “It’s about time, Gabe. Thank God!”

“There’s a new same-sex couple in town,” Dorothy declared. 

Their easy acceptance almost made Sam choked up with emotion. But he held it in, and squeezed Gabriel’s hand instead.

————

Sam and Gabriel went on their first actual date on Valentine’s Day.

After Gabriel made it crystal clear that making a move on Sam wasn’t out of desperation, they mutually agreed that a simple date would be in their best interest. 

Nothing more. Not yet.

Sam had jitters. The word “date” was off-putting in this situation. He and Gabriel went out to eat all the time. There should be nothing different about it.

Except they kiss now, and stuff. And Sam had serious lovey-dovey feelings for Gabriel. They couldn’t be ignored anymore.

They went to a cafe, like usual, since high-end restaurants had been booked for months in advance. They ordered what they usually did, talked about what they usually did, and laughed like they usually did. It didn’t even feel like a date.

At the end of the night, they parted with a kiss and slipped into their separate beds. Gabriel fell asleep first, his soft breathing like music to Sam’s ears.

Sam glanced over, saw a smile lingering on Gabriel’s lips, and realized that the word “date” wasn’t so scary after all.

————

Sam and Gabriel usually went home to Kansas over spring break.

Funnily enough, they had both lived in Kansas all this time. It was yet another reason Sam believed he was destined to meet Gabriel Novak.

But they decided to stay at Stanford with their friends this year. Staying at the university was beneficial for getting ahead on schoolwork.

Sam, Gabriel, and their friends stayed in the fairly empty dorms. They did homework and hung out together, painting the town red. They did things they normally couldn’t get away with. Danced around the dorms while screaming showtunes. Blasted the televisions loud enough to be heard from outer space. Ran around in pajamas all day. Explored the campus and discovered new hiding spots.

It was a truly blissful week.

And it was the week Sam had sex with Gabriel for the first time.

It was a Friday night. Classes would be starting up again that Monday. Their friends locked themselves in their dorms to do extra homework.

That left Sam and Gabriel to themselves.

Sam couldn’t remember what initiated it, exactly.

He just knew that he suddenly found himself perched on Gabriel’s lap, lowering them onto Gabriel’s mattress with heated kisses.

Once he had Gabriel flushed beneath him, Sam remembered how this began.

Gabriel was wearing Sam’s Stanford hoodie.

He didn’t have the fucking right to look so beautiful in it, like it had belonged on his body — and only on his body — this entire time.

Gabriel didn’t even ask if he could borrow the article of clothing. He just slipped it on and decided to crack open a Jane Austen novel.

Fucking asshole. He knew what he was doing.

Or did he?

Sam straddled Gabriel’s thighs, leaning over him like a predator. He said in an accusatory tone, “you stole my hoodie.”

Gabriel blushed redder, and Sam realized that Gabriel had no fucking idea how beautiful he was.

Gabriel murmured, “it’s comfy.”

Sam murmured back, “it would look better on the floor.”

Gabriel bit his bottom lip, chuckling nervously. “You...wanna see me naked?”

“Yup. Why else would I say such an obvious pickup line?”

“Um,” Gabriel blinked, “y-you...really?”

“Really,” Sam said resolutely. “Unless you don’t want to-”

“I do. Just,” Gabriel slipped off his glasses, placing them on the nightstand, “um, I’m just surprised, that’s all. That you, um,” Gabriel bit his lip, his eyelashes fanning his cheeks demurely, “want me.”

Sam realized that he’d struck a chord.

Gabriel had self-confidence issues. Really?

He always seemed sure of himself until now.

Sam rested his full body weight atop Gabriel, looking into those lovely eyes of his. He spoke each word as if they were a nail, and he was hammering them into Gabriel’s mind. “I think you’re the most attractive person I’ve ever seen. You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met in my life. I fucking want you, Gabe. I want you all the time.”

Gabriel swallowed thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. Sam knew his words sunk in. Nonetheless, Gabriel remarked, “you’re quite aggressive, aren’t you?”

One side of Sam’s mouth quirked upwards innocently. “When I know what I want,” Sam readjusted his body, creating purposeful friction, “yes. I am.” Gathering all of his courage and confidence, he sat up on Gabriel’s thighs. “Now, I would like it if my hoodie were on the floor. Are you opposed to that?”

They had both been down this road. They’ve both had sex before, so this wasn’t new territory for them. Sam was ready if Gabriel was. He didn’t care if that made him seem promiscuous after only a month of dating.

Gabriel’s eyelashes fluttered flirtatiously. He said resolutely, “I’m not opposed to anything you wanna do to me.”

Sam grasped the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head. He heard Gabriel’s breath hitch at his torso, bared all for him. Sam tossed his shirt over the side of the bed, not caring where it fell. 

Gabriel looked at him like he was a mirage, like this wasn’t real, like he was fortunate to see Sam in this manner.

Sam raised an eyebrow coyly. “Your turn.”

Gabriel blinked, then grasped the hem of Sam’s hoodie. After some lip-biting hesitation and anticipation, Gabriel revealed his torso sliver-by-sliver, porcelain skin encompassing Sam’s vision. Sam’s hoodie found its way to the floor with a plop, Sam observing Gabriel’s stout frame properly.

Sam bore his eyes into Gabriel’s. “You look good.” He arched down again, stopping when their faces were an inch apart. He breathed, “tell me if this gets to be too much, or if you want me to stop. Okay?”

“Okay,” Gabriel promised.

Gabriel didn’t tell him to stop.

Only to keep going.

————

When Sam awoke the next morning, his body ached all over.

His mouth twitched upwards of its own accord, his eyes exposed to sunlight peeking from the window curtains.

Sam’s memory returned to him slowly, his limbs perking up at the realization that a naked body was pressed against his.

An image went to the forefront of Sam’s mind. Gabriel breathing heavily beside him, their hearts palpitating in time with one another. Sam heard pounding in his ears, blood rushing through his head. Sam heard Gabriel exhale, “I’m in love with you.”

And Sam had exhaled back, “I’m in love with you too.”

More images flew into Sam’s mind. How Gabriel’s eyes held stars in them as they fell apart together, how those stars imploded and exploded, disappearing into roasted coffee irises. How Gabriel never once looked away as their pleasure built, how he kept his eyes firmly on Sam’s. How Sam realized a lot of little things about Gabriel that he hadn’t before: how long his eyelashes were, how pink his lips were, how gentle his touches were.

How utterly and devastatingly beautiful Gabriel Novak was when he was naked and carefree and sated.

Sam knew with complete certainty upon waking up on Saturday morning that he was in love.

He should be terrified. But he felt braver than he ever has. Sexier than he ever has. Happier than he ever has.

Sam watched the man in his arms slowly regain consciousness, his breathing regulating and his eyes cracking open. Gabriel muttered incoherent sounds, his head burrowing into Sam’s chest. Sam instinctively curled his arms around Gabriel’s sides, a silent hello. Gabriel made a whimpering sound in the back of his throat, tilting his head up at last, shaking sleep from his hazy eyes. Sam looked down, meeting Gabriel’s lively irises and upturned mouth.

“Hey,” Sam whispered.

Gabriel’s arms snaked around Sam’s middle, his smile widening. “Hey, babe.” Gabriel leaned up for a kiss, Sam pressing their lips together softly.

Last night changed everything. There was no going back now. No reset button.

Sam was too elated to worry about it.

————

Their friends were far too adept at reading the room.

“You two had sex last night,” Charlie declared.

“I can confirm,” Castiel said. “That’s Gabe’s I-just-had-sex face.”

Gabriel narrowed his eyes. “I do not have a-”

“Yes, you do,” Cas reassured him.

“So do you,” Kevin said to Sam.

Sam and Gabriel sighed, refusing to blush in embarrassment. They weren’t embarrassed of each other in the slightest.

“Okay,” Gabriel held up his hands in surrender, his voice dripping with feigned annoyance and sarcasm, “you got us. Congratulations.”

“I’m proud of you both,” Charlie said, moving to give them fist bumps.

Both men refused to bump her fist.

“No,” Gabriel said.

“That’s not appropriate, girl-bro,” Sam muttered.

Dorothy smacked Charlie’s arm. “Behave.”

Charlie frowned, lowering her fist. “Fine.”

“Okay,” Kevin rubbed his hands together, “we got two more days to do some diabolical shit.”

“Carpe diem, bitches,” Charlie declared.

————

On the last day of the semester, Gabriel and Sam had their most crucial exams yet. Gabriel had to teach a class, and Sam had to give opening statements in an actual courtroom. This required both parties to dress up and act as professional as possible.

When Gabriel emerged from the bathroom, Sam had no idea what hit him.

Gabriel Novak was wearing a suit. A suit specifically tailored for his body. A suit that was the standard black paired with white, but especially exquisite on Gabriel’s form.

The absence of glasses and addition of contacts was also a significant difference. Gabriel’s eyes were brought out by his styled hair, and his skin brought out the suit.

Everything about the ensemble complimented and captured the essence of Gabriel Novak well.

Sam was absolutely destroyed at the image.

Unaware of what he had done, Gabriel huffed out a laugh. “Do you really not know how to tie a Windsor?”

Sam glanced down, and realized his tie was still hanging around his neck. He blushed in answer.

Gabriel half-smiled amusedly. “I’ll do it for you.” He strode forward, his fingers finding their way to Sam’s chest. Gabriel picked up both ends of the silken material, babbling directions on how to tie it himself.

Sam wasn’t listening. 

He couldn’t think about anything other than Gabriel’s deft fingers sweeping and tugging and tucking his tie into place, anything other than Gabriel’s body heat reflecting off of his, anything other than Gabriel’s breaths ghosting his dress shirt and the hollow of his throat.

Gabriel finished the Windsor knot, lowering his tiptoes and smoothing out his shoulders. “There you are,” he said, plastering on a smile. “Watch some YouTube videos next time, okay?”

Sam swallowed thickly, still incredibly affected by the man a breath away from him. “O-okay.”

Gabriel narrowed his eyes in confusion, studying Sam’s expression. “What’s the matter? Nervous about today?”

Sam clenched his jaw and grasped Gabriel’s jawline, keeping his face tilted upwards. He murmured, “you look stunning in a suit.”

Gabriel glanced down on instinct, unable to stare into the intensity of Sam’s gaze. Sam examined the curve of Gabriel’s lashes as he asked weakly, “you think so?”

“I didn’t hear a single word of your explanation to tie a Windsor knot,” Sam admitted.

Gabriel finally set his eyes on Sam’s. “You don’t look too bad yourself. Then, again,” his mouth quirked upwards, “you never look terrible, either, which is kind of annoying.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Just take the compliment and kiss me.”

“Yes, sir.” Gabriel leaned up and pressed their lips together. “Good luck, alright?”

“You too.”

————

Sam didn’t look once at the stands in the courtroom. Seeing his audience would just psych him out.

He gathered every ounce of confidence he possessed, smoothed out his suit, and spoke as eloquently as he could.

He soon became comfortable with strange pairs of eyes on him, and he blossomed like a flower.

Or, at least he thought there were only strangers watching.

When his exam was over, Sam exhaled deeply and moved to leave the room.

A group followed him.

Sam, hands on hips, watched as Gabriel, Castiel, Kevin, Charlie, and Dorothy sheepishly revealed themselves in the empty hallway.

Sam stared at the ceiling and sighed, then focused on Gabriel. “Really, guys?”

“You were wonderful,” Gabriel said, not ashamed in the slightest for being caught stalking.

It wasn’t stalking if it was your boyfriend, Sam supposed.

“You totally slayed,” Charlie agreed.

“Definitely,” Kevin said. “It was impressive.”

“Thanks.” Sam brushed off the compliment. “Um, am I the last one done?”

“Yup,” Dorothy said. “We all gotta pack up and get going.”

The group of friends left the courthouse and walked back to campus, discussing their exams.

————

Sam packed up his things somberly. This was the last time he was going to be in this dorm room with Gabriel. And it was the last day he would be at Stanford until next fall.

Knowing that his family would be arriving soon, Sam sighed and shoved clothes into his suitcase. Gabriel was in a similar state across the room, packing as he waited for his family and Castiel.

Once their belongings were all tucked away, the couple frowned at one another. 

This was the end of an era. They didn’t know what would happen in junior year. They planned to stay together, but they wouldn’t see each other as often over the summer, despite living in the same state.

Sam had to finally come clean to his family. The family that he’d neglect during the semester, the family that worried about him and cared for him. He had to tell them, and he didn’t want to. He wanted to keep Gabriel to himself. His parents wouldn’t understand. 

At least he always had Dean’s support.

Gabriel glided to Sam, his suitcases behind him and a bag slung over his shoulder. “This is the first time I don’t wanna go on this road trip,” he admitted.

Every summer, Gabriel, Castiel, and their parents went on a road trip from California to Kansas. This meant Gabriel would be gone for days with little to no contact with Sam. He told Sam about this weeks ago, but Sam chose to ignore it until the last possible moment.

Which was now.

Sam said optimistically, “it really sounds like fun. More fun than I’ll have, anyway. And hey, you’ll have some opportunities to call me.”

“Yeah,” Gabriel said somberly, “but I’m used to seeing your stupid face every day. I’ll miss it.”

“I’ll miss your stupid face too,” Sam agreed. 

There was a knock on their partially-open door. A figure hid in the crack of the doorway. “Gabe,” Castiel said, “they’re waiting outside.”

“One minute,” Gabriel called out. He deflated and looked up at Sam. His smile wobbly, he said, “I’ll see you as soon as I get the chance.”

“So will I.” Sam leaned down and dropped a kiss on Gabriel’s lips, savoring every goddamn second he could get. Gabriel melted into his body, kissing him with everything he had. 

Castiel started to tap his foot loudly, indicating that their minute was almost up.

Gabriel pulled away with a sigh. He breathed, “I love you, Sam Winchester.”

Sam easily replied, “I love you too, Gabriel Novak.”

They stared at each other for a long beat. Then, Gabriel slipped out of Sam’s grip and disappeared through the door with his suitcases.

Sam refused to watch him leave.

————

As if it was timed, Sam’s family arrived a moment after Gabriel left a void in their dorm room.

Mary entered first, a warm smile framing her face. She gathered Sam into a hello hug, Sam plastering on a smile. Dean arrived next, giving Sam one of his manly hugs, shoulder clap included. He held onto Sam for a second too long, and Sam felt a sharp knife dig into his heart.

He should pay more attention to his big brother. Dean cared for him more deeply than he would ever admit.

John came through the door last, clapping his back in a quick hug.

Out of all his family members, Sam had the most strenuous relationship with his father. His mother helped as best as she could, but their personalities clashed more than they should. It’s part of the reason why Sam ran all the way to California to go to college. And because Kansas was boring.

“All ready?” Mary asked Sam.

Sam surveyed his belongings, double checking the empty room to ensure he packed everything. His gaze lingered a second too long on the bare mattresses beside each other. 

Oh, what fun he had with Gabriel on those beds...

Sam cleared his throat and turned to his mother. “I’m ready.”

He wasn’t.

————

Sam’s childhood home didn’t feel like home anymore.

Lawrence, Kansas was where he was born, where he grew up, and where he left at age eighteen. It was where he went to school, kissed his first girl, — and guy, a secret Sam still kept — and the same terrain he traversed in his free time.

He didn’t realize that he was used to having Gabriel around. The loss of him made Sam ache all over. It didn’t feel right to be home anymore. 

Nothing felt right.

Gabriel was his home. It sounded cheesy, but it was true. Those romantic fiction writers were dead right about that. The absence of someone you love makes everything hurt.

Everything. Fucking. Hurt.

The intensity of Sam’s withdrawal symptoms made him sure of one thing: this wasn’t regular old love.

This shit was serious. Really serious.

He had to prep his parents now. Prime them for an eventuality that he didn’t foresee coming.

————

Gabriel’s call was like a godsend that first night.

Sam couldn’t sleep in his old bed. It felt wrong. It would take him time to adjust.

Sam answered his smartphone as quickly as possible. The walls were thin in this house, and he didn’t want to wake anyone. “H-hey.”

“Hey, babe. Sorry I’m calling so late.”

“I’m glad you called. Really glad,” Sam admitted. “I really miss you.”

“Oh, thank God.” Gabriel sighed in relief. “I really miss you too, and I didn’t wanna be the first one to say it.”

Sam chuckled softly. “I’m getting withdrawal symptoms from not seeing you every day.”

“Me too. That’s so crazy. I thought I saw you in Nevada for some reason.”

Sam snorted at the thought. “Where are you now?”

“Santa Fe, New Mexico,” Gabriel replied. “I’m in a shady motel room, and everyone but me is asleep in here.”

“I can’t sleep either,” Sam said. “We’ve become really attached, huh?”

“Am I,” Gabriel’s tone turned seductive, “all you think about at night?”

Sam chuckled into his pillow. “Mhm. Am I all you think about at night?”

“Of course. And all day, basically.”

Sam grinned so wide his face hurt. “We need to find a middle ground where we can meet when you get back.”

“Lucky for us,” Gabriel said, “the closest middle ground between Lawrence and Wichita is Emporia. Ever been?”

“I haven’t, actually.”

“It’s a nice place. I should show you around in a couple days.”

Sam grinned at the prospect of seeing Gabriel again. “You know just where to go, I’ll bet.”

“Mhm. It’ll be fun, if you can get away.”

“I’ll figure it out. I’m an adult, anyway. Not like they can imprison me.”

After a beat, Gabriel murmured, “I told my parents.”

Sam’s eyebrows climbed to his hairline. “About me?”

“No, about Kevin.” A pause. “Yes, you. Cassie even backed you up.”

“Y-yeah?”

“My parents approve of the idea of you, and that’s enough for me.”

Sam nodded, grateful that he respected Sam’s boundaries and didn’t ask him to meet them. “That’s good. I’m still working on how to bring you up.”

“That’s fine.”

“It’s just, um, you know how I don’t like to advertise my sexuality. Everyone just assumes that I’m the straight brother, with Dean being bi and everything.”

“I understand. My parents thought I was straight until Cassie caught me making out with a guy in high school.”

Sam chuckled. “You’ve never told me that one.”

“Well,” Gabriel shrugged, “now you know. Scandalized?”

“Nothing you do could scandalize me at this point,” Sam said truthfully.

“Good point. Well, um,” Gabriel said softly, “we should try and sleep. Alright?”

“Alright. Good night, Gabe.”

“Night, babe.”

Sam hung up and replayed the way Gabriel said “babe” over and over again in his head, until it stuck there like a broken record and he drifted off to sleep.

————

Sam felt lighter on his feet the next day.

Simply hearing Gabriel’s voice the night before had done wonders for Sam. The effect Gabriel had on him was profound.

His family took notice of his obviously happier mood.

They were having dinner, the clinking of silverware the only sound in the room. Sam was so focused on spearing his salad — which, with a rush, reminded Sam of when Gabriel teased him for being “utterly unable to eat junk food without gorging on salad afterwards” — that he didn’t realize something was amiss.

His parents and Dean were shooting each other looks, as if daring one another to start a conversation with him.

Was this what Sam’s life had come to?

Sam rested his fork down with a clink and demanded, “what?”

Dean had the balls to speak. “Something’s different about you.”

Sam remained neutral. “Good or bad?”

“Good. And frankly,” Dean said, “it’s freaking us out.”

Sam’s eyebrows pinched. “Why would that freak you out?”

Mary took over. “You don’t tell us things anymore, sweetie. I want to know what’s put a smile on your face.”

“Or who,” John suggested pointedly.

“So, Sammy,” Dean asked, “who is she?”

That was the problem right there. She. 

Sam grasped his fork and spun it around on his plate. They wouldn’t get an answer.

There was no she.

Dean gasped overdramatically, the inhale echoing throughout the entire room.

Sam merely raised an eyebrow at Dean in question. What was that about?

Eyes incredibly wide, a shit-eating grin on his face, Dean asked, “who is HE?”

Shit. Fuck. Fucking shit.

Sam stared at the remnants of his salad and felt the world crumbling around him.

“Aha!” Dean exclaimed. Sam imagined Dean’s bright eyes and knowing grin, choosing to twirl his fork instead.

This shit wasn’t even necessary. He was dating a guy. Big fucking deal.

Already done with being outed, Sam leveled Dean with a glare. “And?” He demanded.

“This is wonderful,” Dean said happily, leaning back in his chair. He glanced at their parents. “Both of your sons like both!”

Sam chose not to correct Dean, since it was technically true, in their cases.

“This explains certain things in their childhoods,” John muttered.

Mary swatted John’s arm, then smiled at Sam. “I’m glad you told us.”

“I didn’t,” Sam pointed out, “but okay.”

“So,” Dean said conspiratorially, “who is he? What’s his name? Star sign? What’s his major? How long have you been together? What’s his favorite color and animal?”

Sam deadpanned, “Gabriel. Cancer. Literature. Three months. Blue. Turtles.”

Delighted, Dean picked apart the tidbits of information in his mind, scrutinizing them. “Mhm. Okay. What else?”

“That’s all you get,” Sam said non-negotiably. He stood up, the chair creaking against the wood floor. He picked up his mostly-cleared plate and left the dining room.

As he cleaned his plate in the kitchen, Sam allowed himself to breathe again.

————

“I told them.”

Gabriel was silent on the phone for a few beats. “Are you okay, Sam?”

Gabriel only called him “Sam” when he was really concerned or angry or amused. Sam figured this was the former option at play here.

Sam exhaled shakily. “They were okay with Dean, so they’re okay with me.”

“That’s good. But something else sounds off with you. Are you really okay?”

“Yeah. It was just...intense for me. I don’t know.”

“Is this like the time you psyched yourself out before midterms and almost had a panic attack? Because if it is,” Gabriel deadpanned, “that sounds like loads of fun, babe.”

Sam sighed. “I don’t know how to untangle what I’m feeling.”

“You wouldn’t have called me unless something in your mind was telling you to,” Gabriel countered. “I’ll be your therapist for a little bit, alright? I have time to listen.”

“Really?”

“Really. Now come on, Sam. Talk to me.”

Sam did.

————

Sam said it like a throwaway line at breakfast. “I’m going to visit my boyfriend today. I’ll see you at dinner.”

“Whoa,” Dean clutched Sam’s arm, “hold the phone.” His agape mouth entered Sam’s vision. “He lives in Kansas?!”

“Yes,” Sam said in a clipped tone.

Dean’s eyes widened. “This must be fucking fate, dude.” He looked at John. “Fucking.” He looked at Mary. “Fate. Right?”

Sam tore his arm from Dean’s grip and shot him a look. “Sure,” he said, pretending not to have considered that option seriously already.

He took his leave a few minutes later.

————

Emporia really was a secret gem.

It seemed like a sleepy town outwardly, but Sam could appreciate the aesthetic of the place.

Setting his eyes on Gabriel Novak again made Emporia automatically better than Lawrence, too.

Sam hugged Gabriel tighter than he should have in public, but the bystanders around simply averted their eyes. Gabriel hugged him just as tight, so Sam felt better about his decision.

“I’ve missed you,” Gabriel murmured into Sam’s chest.

“I missed you more,” Sam said, like the loser he was.

Gabriel pulled away from their embrace — which was always awkward, because their height difference really was colossal — and sent Sam one of his signature grins. “There’s a candy shop next to us.”

Sam chuckled. “I should’ve known you liked this place for more than just the look of it.”

“They’re having a sale on lollipops today,” Gabriel informed him.

“That’s why you brought me here.” Sam chuckled again. “I assume you want me to pay for them?”

“Mhm.” Gabriel scrunched his nose, his eyeglass frames lifting upward. “And you’ll do it, because you’re a good boyfriend.”

Sam muttered, “fine. But I wanna go to,” he glanced around at the shops, “that cafe over there, where you’ll buy me coffee for having to deal with you.”

Gabriel chuckled. “Deal, babe.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you thought by leaving a kudos and/or comment!


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